I think this post ought to be an annual thing around here. Since I’m addicted to the “interwebs,” I’ve seen more than my fair share of biased, whine-inducing, velveeta-laden so-called “Best-of” lists that I need to control myself on the number of adjectives I use to describe them. Here are a sampling of some of the worst lists I’ve seen out there so far. Oh yeah, and happy new year and all. (^_^)

“Ugo’s Top 11 Weapons of 2008”
They’re not even real weapons. And to that, I echo the list’s resounding “fail.”

“Dread Central’s Best & Worst of 2008”
I think it’s safe to say all horror films made after 1974 can be grouped into this category. Any guesses which film I’m referring to?

“Best of 2008: Network Television”
Okay, maybe I can see this one being feasible, except it’s Network Television. Don’t people watch community broadcasting channels anymore? Now that’s where the gold is, my friends.

“Odd Blog Best of 2008: Stupid stuff kept on coming!”
Screams desperation with that exclamation mark. People, take notice of exclamation marks. Unless you’re super pissed off, go easy on ‘em. The list is also just too nit-picky. Can you imagine what kind of “stuff” we missed out on before the internet and the paparazzi were like the plague!?

“Best Of The Best of Lists List”
Really? Really?! How much effort did that take to do? Well, I guess it took probably as much time as this list did, come to think of it. ;)

“Banyan Tree Group’s Self-Proclaiming Best-Of Hotel List”
Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to visit the hotel. But with an entry like, “BANYAN TREE GROUP WRAPS UP 2008 WITH AN EXCESS OF 400 AWARDS AND ACCOLADES,” going through six paragraphs then finally closing it out with a list of said received awards, one can only agree on their single Corporate Award.

“Hippies and Craigslist”
Okay, you got me. This isn’t a best-of list, but I think it’s worth linking to.

“Popsugar’s Favorite Mom of 2008”
I like moms. I love my mom. But don’t these people already get enough attention as it is? And as soon as someone lets the kid grab the wheel or leaps out of their arms in a fit, boom, they’re off the list forever. Too much pressure, people. I do like Victoria Beckham’s kid, though. Already sporting the aviators. You’re destined for greatness, kid.

“2008 Best in Class Awards”
A best-of list of reader-voted foodservice equipment and supplies manufacturers. Yawn.

“Ten exotic destinations that can make your holidays magical”
I find it insulting that posts like these are still coming out. Recession anyone?

And to close it out with the winner, David Rees takes the cake with, drum roll please, “Best of 2008: SPAGHETTI.”
And I quote:

Simply put, 2008 was one of the greatest years for spaghetti in decades. And this made me very happy, because I LOVE SPAGHETTI.

Here’s my list — think of it as a celebration — of the TOP TEN SPAGHETTI OF 2008:

1. Pasta
2. Risotto
3. Calamari (I try to eat this once a day for my health)
4. Red Sauce
5. Lasagna Spaghetti
6. Italiano
7. Muffalo Primo Zergotti
8. Presto
9. Ragu Limited Edition: Artisan Jar Sauce
10. George Lucas Signature Pasta Spaghetti

Can “Spaghetti” really be on a Best-of Spaghetti list? Twice?!?! I have to say, I’m pretty disappointed that Hulk Hogan’s Pastamania didn’t make the list, seeing as it’s running through his brain along with the other pastamaniacs there. Honestly there are too many things wrong with that list that I don’t really have the time or energy to invest in picking apart even further. The list, honestly, speaks for itself.

For all you Hulkamaniacs out there

For all you Hulkamaniacs out there

Well, we learned a lot about ourselves today. We learned that sometimes the line between fantasy and reality can come closer than we ever thought possible. We learned that a list within a list is only the beginning and that next year’s list should be a list within a list within a list. We learned that George Lucas has a brand of signature spaghetti. One can only dream of the wondrous things that 2009 will bring us; and that, my friends, is what I will be doing all next year.

Until the next list,
jem

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